Blood for the Baron!

In a crashed starship buried under a volcano in Oregon...
Optimus: Do not worry, Mr Stark. Even without the deal you made with Jazz, we are not going to leave your factory under Decepticon hands.
Tony: Now I'm worried. I could have recovered it without losing fuel...
Ironhide: Stop there, intruder!

Optimus: What is happening, Ironhide?
Ironhide: Bumblebee brought the kid here.
Spidey: Hey! Watch where you point that thing!
Bumblebee: He followed me home. Can I keep him?

Suddenly, Captain America and Thor arrive
Tony: Hey, you two! How did you find this place?
Cap: A pair of friends in Germany gave us the address.
Thor: And we cometh here thanks to the power of the mighty Mjolnir!

Optimus: Well, since you all know about us now, I think I should tell you the whole story...

Optimus (narrating): We are Transformers, robot lifeforms from the planet Cybertron. Currently, the Transformer race is divided by a civil war between the Decepticons, who believe the Transformers should rule over all other lifeforms in the universe, which they see as inferior, and we, the Autobots, who believe that freedom is the right of all sentient beings.

Optimus (narrating): 4 million years ago, an asteroid belt approached Cybertron. I assembled a crew to pilot a ship to destroy the asteroids...

Optimus (narrating): ...but the Decepticons saw a chance to destroy us while we were facing the asteroids. Eleven of them boarded a ship and pursued us. Each ship shot the other and both crashed on Earth.

Optimus (narrating): The Decepticon ship crashed at the ocean. During the Earthen decade known as the '40s, a tidal wave reactivated the ship's systems and it repaired the Decepticons, giving them alternate forms of Earthen vehicles. They allied themselves with people who shared a similar ideology to their own: the nazis. As far as we know, a nazi named Johann Schmidt, also known as the Red Skull, asked for Cybertronian technology as part of the alliance, and the Decepticons even sacrificed Rumble, one of their own, to make mechanical upgrades for a general named Garrison "Blitz" Kreiger. You know part of that story, Captain America.

Optimus (narrating): Our ship's systems were reactivated more recently by the eruption of the dormant volcano where our ship crashed. We acquired some data that linked the Decepticons to Red Skull, and learnt that secret agents Richard and Mary Parker had died while investigating the last whereabouts of Red Skull, so I sent Bumblebee to infiltrate into your house, Spider-Man, to get all the info your parents could have gathered.

Optimus: Now I think you should know us. Brawn and Hound are in Germany, Gears and Huffer are working on the ship's motors and Trailbreaker is hurt at the infirmary, but you can know the rest. Bluestreak...
Bluestreak: Hi, I'm Bluestreak! I'm a good sniper... I heard there's an archer in a circus who has a very good aim, too. I also heard he wears purple. Why purple? I would never be purple, though I could be blue to match my name, or change my name to match my colors...
Optimus: Bumblebee...
Bumblebee: I guess your car was more than you expected, Spidey.
Optimus: Cliffjumper...
Cliffjumper: Why are we losing time in introductions when we could be trashing Decepticons?
Optimus: Ironhide...
Ironhide: Can I return to my post now?
Optimus: Jazz...
Jazz: That's me, the heart of the party.
Optimus: Mirage...
Mirage: Don't touch me, you filthy humans.