The questions and the honest answers

[gung-hoeddie]

Questions posed by double tap in the collection sections and recent events in my personal life it is perhaps time for some home truths.

The question about my being missing from the forum.

Since my diabetes diagnosis and the need to give up smoking lose weight quit drinking and all the things needed to have a decent life these things are difficult to do, one of the issues with my condition is sleep, I don't sleep very well and perhaps get 4hrs of broken sleep a night this has been going on for nearly 3 years.

I have been battling depression, anxiety and stress for a long time but I have been doing this alone without talking about it, last week I had a anger fit at work (to long a story to be going on about) I have been suspended and they are looking to punish me for having a disability.

Moods are very up and down any change in blood sugar levels results in feeling very low about things in general and I find it difficult to deal with.

That effects how I feel about posting on the internet, this is now the only forum I even look at let alone post on, I do social media like twitter but 140 characters or less is easy.

The podcast I look forward to I forget life's troubles for a few hours and away I go.

I don't feel depressed all the time but sleep deprivation leaves me battling my inner demons, it is common for this to happen to diabetics, I have lost the weight given up the required things to give up, it is now the psychological battle I face.

No more hiding from the truth.

[Hopper]

A frank and very brave post Eddie.
We each have our own demons, but some of ours are worse than others.
Yours are among the hardest I have heard, and I salute your bravery for sharing them.
But you have begun the battle, and won a few skirmishes.
Keep going my friend, you have all our support, for what its worth.

[Thundershot]

Well said, Hopper.

Eddie we're here for ya buddy, if you're ever in need of getting something off your chest, a good laugh, or a emotional shoulder to lean upon.

[wolforrest]

Life can be a real sh*tter mate, good luck with the work situation.
Take some solace in having one of the greatest toy rooms around and keep fighting the good fight.

[humby248]

[Double-Tap]

Other than the diabetes its like I write this post.
Depression is a killer. I been on meds now for 3 years and although I despise taking tablets I dont think id be here otherwise.
I reckon ive been self medicating with dope and alcohol for a lot longer. While ive cut back on the dope the alcohol has me by the balls.
What scares me is I think im doing alright others say otherwise. anger seems to be my main default at the moment. I blow before I really have a handle on things. Been told by numerous people im gonna be old and alone which really helps. You contacted me before when I wad ay a low point and it truly helped.
Talkibg abiut thibgs helps but ive told people personal things which theyve used against me so no I trust no one and say nothing.
Chin up mate and if you want a natter im only a pm away.

[The Kraken Wakes]

Well said Hopper, couldnt have put it better myself.

Hope all turns out for the best at work Ed, whatever that may be.

Its maybe cathartic for people to talk about this stuff but in a way it helps people like me and maybe others realise everyone elses lives arent perfect, no matter how it might feel at tines. I guess everyone has their demons.

[Graham_UK]

Sorry to hear about all that's going on in your life mate, (all the pieces now fit from twitter and Facebook).

Like everyone else has said its good to talk about it, I think we can all relate to one or more things that you're going through. Infact I guarantee most of the people here are "here" because of it I am happily married to a woman that has battled depression to a frightening level and we've had to make some life changing decisions in the last few months that would have broken most people.

Although it sounds corny the collection has served as a backstop for me to bury myself in. I know it's only a short term thing but it's been cool whilst it's here!

Job wise, like you've said on Facebook, maybe a change would be good for you, lack of sleep is soul destroying (that's coming from a postman of 15 years). My late Father & Mother had diabetes (a joy which I'll probably inherit later in my life too). It's a hard road to stick too, in my Mum's case the cake won but it sounds like you're doing all the right things and from the pics you look like you've got yourself under control! Good luck to you mate, I'm sure that this is just one of life's "speed humps" or "ass f*cks" as a postman would say! Hope to see you at the next RORC!

[paul463]

Eddie, sorry to hear for your troubles my friend. Most of us have had troubles in the recent past and being here has certainly helped me and I'm sure we can support you a wee bit too.

[stkhlmdk]

Thanks for sharing this with us, I truely hope that everything will go in the right direction and I am sure Annie will be there for you throughout it all. I havent had to battle any serious disease or addiction (apart from collecting Joes) but I do still have "downs" about loosing my dad at an early ages (I was just 24 and was home when he had a stroke and was gone within 15 mins), I missed him at my wedding, at the birth of my two children and now as a foundation for everything which happens now.

I hope to one day attend RORC and have a chat with you about Joes so keep fighting the battles