Stormshadows Secret Mission

[SteveD]

Certainly! I'll just throw a few bits in a bag and be on my way!



Should've taken the Mu in the first place, but didn't want to get accused of being a cheap Mutour rip off. Hence Stormshadow came along for the ride. Thing is, now he's going to have to come everywhere in the future. Perhaps he could be accompanied by a Muton though? If that's the case I'm going to need some trousers with a bigger pocket!

[SteveD]

Yaawwwwnnnnnn - did I dose off.......????

[SteveD]

As the nights are dark and long, and the days full of rain and cold, I thought I would revisit warmer times.

So, right, where were we…

When last our story were told our intrepid white (ish) pal was sat atop Rainbow Beach having just completed the next leg of his Mission – to acquire Oz on the Baron’s behalf (or to loosely string together a set of photos involving Stormshadow from my jaunt to Oz). Which brings us to…

Mission: - Frasier Island (a bit like Tracey Island, only Blue Peter never built one)

Stormie, being a contemplative kind, was pondering his mission thus far.

“All is going well”, he mused, “but it’s taking quite some bloody time [we all know that feeling!] and I really could do with a bit of a relax, and to recharge my batteries a little, and hone my ninja skills, especially my swimming, before embarking on the next stage of my Mission”, he randomly declares, in a vain effort to string together a further set of pictures.

“I know – I’ve heard talk of this Frasier Island – apparently the largest sand island in the world, and one where no roads exist, and the only cars that are allowed on are therefore 4 x4’s! Sounds fun to me!” pondered the little chap, as he packed his best ninja swimming trunks into his backpack, and boarded the ferry, hopeful that he was not incorrect, and it was really an island inhabited solely by late night radio talk show hosts from Seattle.

“All being well I may even be able to seize said island on behalf of the Baron. It would certainly make a lovely holiday retreat when the pressures of being the worlds number 1 terrorist start to wear him down” he plotted, and simultaneously filled in the learned readers in a bit of local geography.

Upon arrival on this fabled isle Stormie was a little disappointed, however to note that the Baron’s Bloodboat had not aged well since 1984:-



“The sea behind is filled with Sharks” the tour guide explained. “Curse you, Q Force”, our hero shouted, as he angrily shook his fist in the air at nobody in particular!

“Sod the idea of stealing it as a holiday retreat then”, he chuntered, “if the Baron’s boats knackered, then there’s not a lot of point in having him an island [the Baron doesn’t do ferries] and it also rules out any chance of me borrowing the flaming Blood Boat for the rest of this troublesome mission” he ranted, “I shall therefore simply use this island to hone my skills, and get my arse out of here asap in pursuit of alternate transport and with a view to further progressing this accursed mission! First, however, I am going to just hang around a while near this Creek":-



[the gags really don’t get any better I’m afraid!]


Suitably refreshed, Stormie looked over the huge fresh water lake, as he contemplated the challenge that awaited him – to learn to swim a bit better, so he could nick some sort of boat or sea vessel so as to avoid the pesky Q Force for the later part of the Mission:-



“Bloody hell – that’s a big lake”, he muttered, somewhat scared, and stating the obvious, “ I wish I’d paid more attention in swimming class now, rather than perving at all the other young lady ninjas in their white bikinis”

“Oh well, as I am, in fact, totally fearless, I will simply jump in, and learn to swim immediately!” he concluded, somewhat recklessly, as he promptly started to sink….



“COUGH COUGH, SPLUTTER SPLUTTER!!!! Bollocks!!! I’m dying – help!!!!”

[Narrators note – in the interests of continuity a certain level of intrusion by my good self was necessary at this stage, to avoid our Stormie sinking to the bottom of the lake. It was not felt that this would be a fitting end to our hero’s adventures after all this time, simply because he had given in to his natural feelings towards the lady ninja’s in swim class when he were but a young ninja. Hence:]



SAVED!!!! HURRAH!!!! (or BOOOO! Depending on how bored you are!)

So, back into character:-

“Damn it – I’m not very good at this swimming lark, and clearly have no chance of mounting any sort of nautical assault on anywhere at this rate!” Stormie concluded, once the lifeguards had resuscitated him, “I shall have to source myself some sort of specific nautical craft, otherwise any time I go in the water Q Force will hand my ninja ass to me on a platter!” he mused. “What shall I do – the BloodBoat is out of commission, I’m crap at swimming, and all I have so far of any sort of craft is a bloody great propeller!” This is not going well", he sulked.

To be continued…. [maybe]

[SteveD]

Stormie & The Whale (the Q Force files)

“A new day, a new dawn” announced our Ninja chum upon awaking the next day, in one of those annoying phrases that our Baron (that’s Baron Jim, rather than the other Baron), loves so much. “Having had the chance of sleeping on this issue it is clear to me what I need to do. Cutter has a Whale, so why shouldn’t I have one too?”

Now hell bent on acquiring a real live Whale to further his mission our pal embarks on chartered craft in hot pursuit of large seafaring mammals.

Just as all hope was fading, and despite scouring the horizon for whales for a good hour or more without any photos being taken, our ninja was just beginning to think he’d be taking the tour operator up on their offer of “whale sighting guaranteed, or your money back” when he strikes it lucky!



“Rear assembly looks far more substantial than on Cutters Whale” he assesses, suitably impressed “no fear of the tabs snapping off on that baby”
“I shall attach my stolen propeller and make a craft worthy of Captain Nemo himself!”

“I’ll show the Baron how sh*t his Blood Boat is”



“You there!” “Shamu!!!” He shouts, “Ahoy there - you shall be my personal transport!!!” , he calls, once more seemingly reverting back to the accent of an upper class English gentleman, rather than an oriental ninja,

“Which one of us?” enquired the quizzical Whales, seemingly achieving the impossible and giving voice:-



“You there. Yes, you – the larger of the two of you!” he predictably shouts (think he’s trying to make up for shortcomings in some other areas????)



“Personal transport you say? Presumably the job pays well? And all the plankton and skrill I can eat you say? Go on then, you've got yourself a deal, but you’re not sticking that flaming propeller on my tail fin you kinky bugger you!” responds the Whale



“That, my friend, is not a problem – I shall weigh the beast in and treat myself to some new ninja pyjamas upon my return from this mission – your nether regions shall remain uncompromised by the propeller arrangement”

“Well, on the subject of my nether regions, I’ve fortunately got some mating needs doing first, before I can come off with you on your mission. I would leave right now, honest, I would mate, but I have a duty to the lady whales of this world to give them some sweet whale loving, and will therefore meet you up at Airlie Beach in a week or so?” announced Shamu the Whale,

“Well, if I have to” moaned Stormy,

When suddenly, memories of the lady ninjas stirred up some long suppressed urges “Don’t suppose your lady whale has any friends has she?”

“Sorry”, announced Shamu – "as we Whale folk are pretty huge, and you are seemingly only about 3 ¾ inches tall, I fear your equipment would not be up to the job. You shall have to make your own way up to Airlie Beach, and find me up there?”

“Bugger”, cursed Stormie, as he once more set off on the road….

[SteveD]

As the Guiness adverts say, some things are worth waiting for.

(Although unfortunately, some also aren't).

[SteveD]

On way to Airlie Beach – the Road Trip files

I tad dejected by his finding of Shamu, only to lose him again, and a little lonely in the world that even Whales are getting some, but he’s not, our hero had set about reluctantly trudging his way up the coast towards backpackers paradise that is Airlie Beach and the Whitsundays.

Obviously, due to it being a bloody long way, and our Stormie only having very short legs, he needed to stop off for a while, to take the weight off, on some random beach:-





Fed up of walking, our Stormie stops off at a petrol station that could literally be lifted straight out of the set of a 1980’s B Movie horror film, only to encounter a large wagon, and decide to chance his hand at hitchhiking instead.


Having watched Smokey & the Bandit 1,2 & 3 several times (even though part 3 is really a very poor film), and having studied extensively the Dukes of Hazzard, our hero chances upon CB McHaul in his passing truck, and tries to flag him down using the CB from the petrol station:


“Breaker one nine, breaker one nine, is that you CB McHaul? Have you got your ears on?”




“BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP”


“I’ll take that as a “no” then, you sick freak”, moaned Stormie, assuming that Mr McHaul was too busy whacking one off whilst looking directly at you and pointing [insiders joke for Forum members from a few months back! – sorry – can’t find the post to put a link to now] Stormie once more set off walking up the road, to the dulcet tones of the tune from the end of the Incredible Hulk TV show…

To be continued.... (although it may be a while)

[SteveD]

Found it:-

http://www.bloodforthebaron.com/phpBB2/ ... aul#p21094

[SteveD]

Mission:- Find the Amorous Whale

Upon arrival in the lovely Airlie Beach Stormie checks into his swanky apartment paid for from his expenses account funded by the Baron, and charges a load of booze and roomservice to the account, as he sits on the balcony and ponders his next move [yes, even Ninja’s fiddle their expenses]:-



“No sign of the that flaming Whale anywhere”, he moans, once more [pattern developing here].



“Right, I’ve had enough of this, I’m going to find that Whale, whether he be “finished” or not, and make him join me to complete this flaming mission once and for all” he rants.

In keeping with earlier in the story, Stormie feels the need to get up as high as possible, to fully scout for Shamu.

“I know! Why didn’t I think of this before – I will charter myself a Chopper, and finally find this work shy Whale once and for all”

After searching for, well, not very long really, Stormie finds himself transport:-



“The engine roll cage looks to still be intact” he assesses, “the missiles are seemingly lost, and it has had the wrong stickers applied, but not to worry – I shant need missiles for a simple bit of searching. Besides, how hard can this Whale be to find anyway – especially if he’s making all humpback with some Yo-yo knickered trollop of a lady Whale” he rants, as his jealousy bubbles to the surface once more, "I will just scour the seas for splashing"






“If Aneka Rice can do it on treasure hunt then so can I!!!”



“Wincy Willis??? Is that you on the headset?”



“No sign of the flaming Whale yet at all, and I’m starting to get a little queezy up here! If we don’t find him soon we shall have to call it a day” Stormie decides.



The seas are empty, the Mission a failure, the Whale is nowhere to be seen, our Stormie thanks his pilot:



“My friend, your skills with that Chopper are a sight to behold [must resist the gag, must resist the gag], but Shamu appears to be nowhere to seen. I thank you for your time, but must bid you farewell”.

“Have you tried further up the Coast cobber?” offers the very Australian pilot, “loads of big fish up near Port Douglas mate – even a great big barrier reef!”

“Strewth mate! Cheers for that!” replies Stormie, seemingly adopting the chaps accent for a moment there!

A fruitless dalliance into Airlie Beach, Stormie decides to head further up the coast in search of Shamu, as suggested by our overly helpful pilot friend.

“I shall have to head further up North to Port Douglas, and see if the Whale Way goes up that high”
(and that quite simply has to be the worst joke amongst this incredibly bad bunch!)

More to come….

[Double-Tap]

Great pics steve, cant wait to see more
Bill

[SteveD]

Great pics steve, cant wait to see more
Bill

Cheers Bill! I'm trying to avoid spending money in my lunch breaks, so not leaving the office, as shops are sent to test my notriously weak self discipline with all of their DVD loveliness. Hence finally resurrecting the tale.

On a total side note - is anyone else's PC not working with the "view more Muticons" link - it used to open a new window, but now they open a whole new page, and don't work (he says, totally hijacking his own thread)