Posted: 29 Jun 2006 12:48
In the 80-ies, being the leader of some wackos in red uniforms, it was cool to wear white and having a bucket on your head. I mean, look at Darth Vader, he took the bucketheads to an entire new level! Now, as an adult, it is kinda difficult for me to seriously believe this would be a terrorist organisation. Red is maybe good camouflage during a blood bath, but in general? I doubt it. I think Action Force would piss their paints if this group of wacky dressers would attack.
Therefore I love the Monty Python type of approach. Bring 'em on!
Therefore I love the Monty Python type of approach. Bring 'em on!
owns a fondue restaurant in Winterthur with a funky fondue chinoise offshoot in Basel. There's an art dealer next door who does a surprisingly brisk trade in comics on the side. Unfortunately her husband succumbed to the Swiss disease and before he could massacre his nearest and dearest with his army rifle he got slotted by two deftly wielded antique shuriken. 
joined the Scottish Parliament as an MSP, trading on his connections, ancestry and authoritative gift of the gab. Tw*t!
works in a kebab shop round the back of Buck palace. It's a front for Greek foreign intelligence. 
indeed has an ongoing interest in the bangbus, but also masquerades in certain mainstream movies, making full use of a thespian repertoire gestated during long sojourns on far flung atolls, and, having lost his 'tache and other hirsute appendages for them, has appeared in Mission Impossible and Pulp Fiction among other flicks.
has several interests in European racing, DTM, Touring Cars UK, as well as WRC. He denies he is Freddie Loix. And the bastard son of Jacky Ickx. Although Jos Verstappen might be his own little batarde. 
rose to his own level of incompetence and was imprisoned after committing sensitive crimes with a chap called Norman.
became the second stig after meeting Clarkson and AA Gill on their trip to Reykyavik. And that's a fact. He drives a Bowler Wildcat across Western Iraq and Helmand for fun: and direct from the southern home counties to Ox and Bucks after each daily shoot on the Top Gear track. Gambon corner is known as Stalker corner by Hammond & co.
fathered Stevie Gerrard out of wedlock. Disowned by his Catholic family he stayed on ops until 2002 never seeing his son and failing to stop a Liverpool lawyer from writing a sub-clause in Stevie's contract preventing him from signing up for the Queen's shilling. Allegedly, a moment of madness with a troll in a kebab shop in Kirby also led to his siring of Wayne Rooney - but as this appeared in the Morning Worker Militant Kirby Separatist Liverpool Echo of Moscow Centre it is assumed to be disinformatsiya. Now co-owns a pub with his old mucker Peter McAleese (who may also be his father).
got PTSD after non-stop operations until 2002 and now minces at home in Ox & Bucks looking out of windows moaning about ducks migrating to Ascendancy Island. After a period in Woolwich Arsenal and Catterick Military Psychiatric wards he escaped. He is still waiting for his war pension. He is writing a memoire.
still on operations. Reminding the rump of NATO of the lessons it forgot. His title is "Deputy Secretary General, Defence, Policy, Planning (Military) for Politico-Military Cultural Interfaces". 
got a job in with Konami and can be seen ad nauseam in "The Regiment". 
was the original Stig. After faking his own death on prime time TV while evading capture on HMS Invincible, he flogged the plans of the ship to French military intelligence, THALES-ALSTHOM-EADS. OF course it was totally fkn useless cos the Royal Navy have moved on since the 70s. With the profits, he nevertheless bankrolled the Renault F1 team to boost the value of his car dealership to his craven countrymen. He has a side interest as chief pimp at the Le Mans 24 hours. 
always the power behind the throne, he went into business with a Mr. Khan who Eisenblut had placed as a sleeper in the Netherlands. More recently, from a hideout in Kashmir they spent the 1990s building a global nuclear weapons technology transfer empire via Dubai and sold kit to every "rogue nation" (as the West calls them) in the whole wide world. Currently living somewhere in the Gulf with a magnificent harem of geishas. Still PNG'd in Singapore. 
faked his transition to Destro in order to return to the Motherland/Rodina in time for the fall of the Politburo. Currently owns five major oil and gas companies listed on the LSE, as well as a string of magnificent bars from the Amy-Darya to the undercroft of the Kremlin and the Rada, Boujis in Kensington, even the Billionaire Club franchise in Monte Carlo. Keeps in close touch with Laser, Eisenblut, Black Major and Vulture for mutual amusement and global power purposes. They meet yearly to raise hell and reminisce in Zurich, Zermatt, and Klosters. Allegedly they watch live surveillance footage of 
weeping into his roses on summer afternoons.
went into computer gaming as well with Rockstar games. He has also been an extra in Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Star Wars 1-3. 
was an extra in Buffy the Vampire Slayer before getting a plumb role in Star Wars 1.
couldn't get a role in Buffy the Vampire Slayer so he settled for small roles in Star Wars 1-3. 
became the behind the scenes fixer for the Labour Party in 1996 and several directorships of sh*t-heap Anglo PMCs and even more scumiffied Sud Afrikaans and Colonial analogues. He is still in Whitehall today. Count the corpses.*
dallied with many passing interests. Strong in the dark side of the force, he has owned an F1 team, owns the whole of Porn Valley, and holds controlling interests in several hedge funds. He allegedly resides in South America, Texas, Saudi Arabia and London. He is reknown for his donations to craven, fascist fkwitted political parties. Currently chairman of the Bilderberg Group. Overall, it would take far too long to list his nefarious achievements. 
"Tak-a-tak-a-takka-tak-tak-tak"
but there are 2 Stigs!!! 
The Enemy
: Cobra Commander. 
:Black Majors Air commander.
SAS Force
:Buckingham is now a freelace trouble shooter for the free world. 
: Bouvier the underwater side of Stakeout's business. Know to help Eagle out from time to time.
: Sanderson pilot in an Skydiving business with Sparrowhawk. 
: Test pilot for US government.
: Rodrigues got pardon from mexican government and now runs a tourist bar in Cancun called Wolverines. 
Z-Force
: Retired living in Portugal trying to lower his handicap.
: Santillana became gamekeeper for Skip. 
: Brazzi got a job with a italian news agency handles the technical side of feild journalism has been to the Gulf, Bosnia and many other hot spots. 
: Dremmler joined the Forien Legion when he was turned down by the west and later got a job training people Princess Diana's landmine charity. 
: Inglessen retired from medicine as head of Norways top medical school now cordanates Red Cross medical aid in hot spots. 
Q-Force
: McClaren re-joined the Royal Navy retired in a small town and is now an indepenent navel advisor. 
: Rives went into the underwater salvage business. 
: O`Flaherty went back to Eire to set up a succesful communications company. 
: Whipple former Olympic triathlete and went on to coach the national team. 
Morgan Re joined the Royal Navy and is now a tour guide a Navy submarine museum. Rumor has it that he saved a Sealion and keeps it in storage just in case. 
Space Force
: Chuck joined the USAF and later moved on to high ranking job with NASA. 
: Elsund is running and martial arts school and coaching the Swedish national team. Still likes to skydive whenever possible.
: Walters took a teaching at MIT and later help design and build a international space station. 
: Taggart is now an instuctor in the Austrailian Air Force. 
: Asimov went back to Russia to join their space program now works a Russian liason offcer in internatonal space program. 
: El Shafei works on space defences with Skyraider. Still trying to bring in Red Wolf.